When I think I’ve installed the right package to get this software to work.
I’m not sure when this behavior changed, but I recently managed to magic a screen sharing menu item into my menu bar and couldn’t find the right preference window from which to remove it. Googling the problem results in years-old posts advising users to hold command while dragging the item from the menu bar, but that doesn’t work for me on my Mountain Lion machines. You have to hold down command and shift to drag it out.
Note that this only works for system menu bar items, but holding command and dragging will let you rearrange all items.